Working Mom Special Report
June 2005


Saving You:
Time, Energy & Money!

My girlfriend, Tammy, had been hot on my trail. E-mails and phone calls all week:

"How are you?”

“Are you OK?”

“I‘ve been thinking about you…you are heavy on my heart."

SO....Thursday night over e-mail I let her have it.

I completely vented. It was a saga. The "Dez Molloy After-school Special" I'm not kidding. You have never read whining like this.

The next day I got a call from my husband Jeff around 5:30 – Mind you, I was still at work (all part of the saga) when I heard his voice over the phone asking "Did you vacuum this morning?"

OK - Out of all of the ridiculous questions that man has ever asked me "Did you vacuum this morning?" ON A WEEKDAY had to be at the top of his list. Anyway - after completely destroying him for asking me such an insane question – he insisted..."No, seriously, there are vacuum tracks in the carpet."

My reply.... "Vacuum tracks! Are you sure you're in the right house?" He continued. "What? ...The laundry's folded, the bathrooms are clean…and there's a roast in the crock pot!"


My first reaction...Can you guess? No, it wasn't "Oh my goodness, I'm so excited!" or "Who could have done this?" It was “SOMEONE FOLDED OUR UNDERWEAR AND CLEANED OUR DISGUSTING BATHROOMS?"

And so it began. My 4 hour journey with the Lord. In 4 hours He taught me how to be a gracious receiver. After getting over the realization that someone had to actually chisel toothpaste off of the bathroom counter, I immediately started thinking of how I was going to repay this person.

I knew for a fact that it was my best friend, Tammy. (Though she thought she was being clever) The trouble was I couldn't accept the gift. This free gift. Then I started to feel bad. After all, the last thing I want to do was make life busy for a close friend of mine…She has enough to do keeping her own kids and family in order. Then I started feeling guilty for dumping on her the night before. I'm SURE you can relate to this.


The Lord spoke to me in such a real way through all of this. I'm not kidding, we were actually arguing. “Dez, what's the real reason you always want to pay for something? Is it pride?” "Are you thinking you don't get something for nothing?" Are shame and embarrassment causing you to stumble over receiving a blessing from Me?”

“Nothing is for free.” Was my feeble reply. How could my dear friend walk into my home, clean it and feed my family.....for free? How and why would she do that?

  • Because I "deserve it"? No - I just can't accept that.
  • Because "I paid for it"? No - I didn't pay for it.
  • Because SHE LOVES ME????

Really? Wow!! Then it hit me…


My friend showed me a glimpse of Jesus. All for free. For me to try and pay her back would be an insult to what she did. It would be putting a value on her love for us. To tell her that I don't deserve it would be a rejection of the very gift she gave.

As illustrated by my friend Tammy, who loves me so much, that she came to my house while we were at work and school & cleaned it because she wanted us to enjoy it. She made us dinner so that we would be fed. ALL for free because of love. Giving that gift to us cost her something…but it was freely given for us.

It reminded me of the free gift of salvation that God has offered us all through his Son, Jesus Christ.

  • Because I DESERVE it"? No - I just can't accept that.
  • Because "I paid for it"? No - I didn't pay for it.
  • Because HE LOVES ME????

Really? Wow!! …Can I accept the gift? Yes!

Something - for nothing! In fact, something beautiful and amazing despite the fact that I am so undeserving of the gift!

Did the Lord give us what we deserve? NO! No way! In fact, it is His mercy poured out on us that allows us to escape what we really deserve. Did he do it because we "paid for it"? How can anyone put a price value on what Jesus did for us on the cross? No one can - so, of course we did not pay for it. It would be impossible. Did He do it because He loves us? Yes!! That's the reason. Because he loves us!


My 4 hour argument with God ended in one word - GRATITUDE.

Tammy - Thank you for loving this family enough to do what you did. Thank you for showing me Jesus.

Lord - Thank you for loving this family enough to do what you did. Thank you for revealing yourself through Tammy.

Thank you both for teaching me how to receive. May all our working moms learn to receive God's blessings in gratitude and with thankful hearts this Mothers Day.


I have to say that I know the feeling of not being able to accept something for free but after reading this story, I totally understand. Thanks for sharing this story with us "working moms!"- Belinda


I really liked the article and I can relate to her story. I have a similar personality. I feel very guilty when loved ones do things for me. They always say I deserve it and I know that I would do anything for them, but it's hard to accept their kindness. The article helped me, because it gave me a great perspective on Jesus gave me something even though I didn't deserve it and it will help me be a better receiver of love.-Stephanie Williams


This strikes a cord with me...Many times I question why God would love a sinner like me, a failure like me. In my past, I was really disobedience and sometimes I beat myself up over it.

Thanks for this reminder of HIS grace and mercy.-Doris


I can't help thinking of Jesus talking about laying his life down for a friend, and Tammy in some ways did this for Desiree. I am often so busy with my own life I would not think about caring in such a way. I know God has gifted us all differently, but certainly we all can share mercy to some extent. This is awesome! –Zanese


What a wonderful article, especially so close to Mothers day. My 6 and a half yr old does things all the time for his single mother, helping me out with chores around the house. I always figure its because he wants something. But recently I asked him what he wanted and he said "a hug" and then he told me he loved me very much. I would not have this son without a miracle from God, I had so many female problems. I prayed and prayed and God answered with a gift of a life time. I thank him and my son every day. Happy Mothers day to everyone!-Nickie


What a good example... thank you. I'm challenged today to love like Jesus.-Cindy


I am not surprised that Dez did not want to receive the blessing that God sent to her, because often times I do not want anyone to do anything special for me either... I act as if I am so independent... Even though it is just me and my 2 year old toddler at home, when we have family over, I insist that they just relax make as much mess as possible and I will attend to everything later.

I almost never inconvenience anyone... Then, when it gets right down to it, I am worn out, run down, tired, and cranky with my daughter... I have learned from this that when God sends His love, it's ok to accept it. That's actually twofold... When I see family in such frantic situations, I am always there to help out with anything no matter what it is... I see that it's just God working through me to share His love with them.- Myrna


I have been in this place often. Sometimes when you are the giver, it is very hard to receive.

Or even perceive why people would give to you without an ulterior motive.

As women we often get over whelmed and "get lost n the sauce" of life. We have to learn to slow down so we can see and appreciate the little gifts and learn to remain "grateful".

It is the little things that really matter!- Sheila A. Olive


This was a wonderful touching story. I was just thinking that even though the veil is lifted when we accept Christ into our hearts - how easily the world tries to blind us from Him. Television, work, children - sometimes, when the world presses in on us, we start to forget to breathe in His word, His love and His grace.

What a wonderful mid-day treat to read, and be reminded of His continual presence in our lives. Maybe, we should use Jesus as our window - stand him in front of our eyes and look at all we do that way! Looking at the world through Jesus colored glasses.-Susan