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girlfriend, Tammy, had been hot on my trail. E-mails and phone calls
"How are you?”
“Are you OK?”
“I‘ve been thinking about you…you are heavy on my heart."
SO....Thursday night over e-mail I let her have it.
I completely vented. It was a saga. The "Dez Molloy After-school
Special" I'm not kidding. You have never read whining like this.
The next day I got a call from my husband Jeff around 5:30 – Mind
you, I was still at work (all part of the saga) when I heard his
voice over the phone asking "Did you vacuum this morning?"
OK - Out of all of the ridiculous questions that man has ever asked
me "Did you vacuum this morning?" ON A WEEKDAY had
to be at the top of his list. Anyway - after completely destroying
him for asking me such an insane question – he insisted..."No,
seriously, there are vacuum tracks in the carpet."
My reply.... "Vacuum tracks! Are you sure you're in the right
house?" He continued. "What? ...The laundry's folded, the
bathrooms are clean…and there's a roast in the crock pot!"
My first reaction...Can you guess? No, it wasn't "Oh my goodness,
I'm so excited!" or "Who could have done this?" It
was “SOMEONE FOLDED OUR UNDERWEAR AND CLEANED OUR DISGUSTING
And so it began. My 4 hour journey with the Lord. In 4 hours He
taught me how to be a gracious receiver. After getting over the realization
that someone had to actually chisel toothpaste off of the bathroom
counter, I immediately started thinking of how I was going to repay
I knew for a fact that it was my best friend, Tammy. (Though she
thought she was being clever) The trouble was I couldn't accept the
gift. This free gift. Then I started to feel bad. After all, the
last thing I want to do was make life busy for a close friend of
mine…She has enough to do keeping her own kids and family in order.
Then I started feeling guilty for dumping on her the night before.
I'm SURE you can relate to this.
THE LORDS RESPONSE
The Lord spoke to me in such a real way through all of this. I'm
not kidding, we were actually arguing. “Dez, what's the real reason
you always want to pay for something? Is it pride?” "Are you
thinking you don't get something for nothing?" Are shame and
embarrassment causing you to stumble over receiving a blessing from
“Nothing is for free.” Was my feeble reply. How could my dear friend
walk into my home, clean it and feed my family.....for free? How
and why would she do that?
- Because I "deserve it"? No - I just can't
- Because "I paid for it"? No - I didn't
pay for it.
- Because SHE LOVES ME????
Really? Wow!! Then it hit me…
My friend showed me a glimpse of Jesus. All for free. For me to
try and pay her back would be an insult to what she did. It would
be putting a value on her love for us. To tell her that I don't deserve
it would be a rejection of the very gift she gave.
As illustrated by my friend Tammy, who loves me so much, that she
came to my house while we were at work and school & cleaned it
because she wanted us to enjoy it. She made us dinner so that we
would be fed. ALL for free because of love. Giving that gift to us
cost her something…but it was freely given for us.
It reminded me of the free gift of salvation that God has offered
us all through his Son, Jesus Christ.
- Because I DESERVE it"? No - I just can't accept
- Because "I paid for it"? No - I didn't
pay for it.
- Because HE LOVES ME????
Really? Wow!! …Can I accept the gift? Yes!
Something - for nothing! In fact, something beautiful and amazing
despite the fact that I am so undeserving of the gift!
Did the Lord give us what we deserve? NO! No way! In fact, it is
His mercy poured out on us that allows us to escape what we really
deserve. Did he do it because we "paid for it"? How can
anyone put a price value on what Jesus did for us on the cross? No
one can - so, of course we did not pay for it. It would be impossible.
Did He do it because He loves us? Yes!! That's the reason. Because
he loves us!
My 4 hour argument with God ended in one word - GRATITUDE.
Tammy - Thank you for loving this family enough to do what you did.
Thank you for showing me Jesus.
Lord - Thank you for loving this family enough to do what you did.
Thank you for revealing yourself through Tammy.
Thank you both for teaching me how to receive. May all our working
moms learn to receive God's blessings in gratitude and with thankful
hearts this Mothers Day.
COMMENTS ON “THE DEZ MOLLOY AFTER SCHOOL
I have to say that I know the feeling of not being able to accept
something for free but after reading this story, I totally understand.
Thanks for sharing this story with us "working moms!"-
I really liked the article and I can relate to her story. I
have a similar personality. I feel very guilty when loved ones
do things for me. They always say I deserve it and I know that
I would do anything for them, but it's hard to accept their kindness.
The article helped me, because it gave me a great perspective on
Jesus gave me something even though I didn't deserve it and it
will help me be a better receiver of love.-Stephanie Williams
This strikes a cord with me...Many times I question why
God would love a sinner like me, a failure like me. In my past,
I was really disobedience and sometimes I beat myself up over it.
Thanks for this reminder of HIS grace and mercy.-Doris
I can't help thinking of Jesus talking about laying his life down
for a friend, and Tammy in some ways did this for Desiree. I am often
so busy with my own life I would not think about caring in such a
way. I know God has gifted us all differently, but certainly we all
can share mercy to some extent. This is awesome! –Zanese
What a wonderful article, especially so close to Mothers day. My
6 and a half yr old does things all the time for his single mother,
helping me out with chores around the house. I always figure its
because he wants something. But recently I asked him what he wanted
and he said "a hug" and then he told me he loved me very
much. I would not have this son without a miracle from God, I had
so many female problems. I prayed and prayed and God answered with
a gift of a life time. I thank him and my son every day. Happy Mothers
day to everyone!-Nickie
What a good example... thank you. I'm challenged today to love like
I am not surprised that Dez did not want to receive the blessing
that God sent to her, because often times I do not want anyone to
do anything special for me either... I act as if I am so independent...
Even though it is just me and my 2 year old toddler at home, when
we have family over, I insist that they just relax make as much mess
as possible and I will attend to everything later.
I almost never inconvenience anyone... Then, when it gets right
down to it, I am worn out, run down, tired, and cranky with my daughter...
I have learned from this that when God sends His love, it's ok to
accept it. That's actually twofold... When I see family in such frantic
situations, I am always there to help out with anything no matter
what it is... I see that it's just God working through me to share
His love with them.- Myrna
I have been in this place often. Sometimes when you are the giver,
it is very hard to receive.
Or even perceive why people would give to you without an ulterior
As women we often get over whelmed and "get lost n the sauce" of
life. We have to learn to slow down so we can see and appreciate
the little gifts and learn to remain "grateful".
It is the little things that really matter!- Sheila A. Olive
This was a wonderful touching story. I was just thinking that even
though the veil is lifted when we accept Christ into our hearts -
how easily the world tries to blind us from Him. Television, work,
children - sometimes, when the world presses in on us, we start to
forget to breathe in His word, His love and His grace.
What a wonderful mid-day treat to read, and be reminded of His continual
presence in our lives. Maybe, we should use Jesus as our window -
stand him in front of our eyes and look at all we do that way! Looking
at the world through Jesus colored glasses.-Susan